Lacey L. Brunner 

Department of Counseling, Houston Graduate School of Theology 

COU 522: Human Growth and Development 

Dr. Jake Porter 

December 8, 2020

In Human Growth and Development, we learned numerous theories we can use as a lens when counseling future clients. One approach that stood out for me is George Vaillant’s life task theory. Below, I will give a brief synopsis of Vaillant’s concept, I will use his idea as a lens for my life, including the biological, cultural, historical, socioeconomic, experiential, and spiritual forces that have shaped my identity, and I will describe how this particular theory has helped prepare me to become a counselor. 

George Vaillant studied over 800 men and women (he studied more men than women leading to Barbara Reinke’s female-centered surveys) over 60 years. As the result of Vaillant’s studies, he defined six tasks necessary to complete to become a mature adult: 1) to develop an identity separate from that of parents, 2) to build intimacy through the development of reciprocal relationships, 3) career consolidation, 4) generativity, 5) becoming the keeper of meaning, and 6) achieving integrity (Capuzzi & Stauffer, 2016). 

I like Vaillant’s theory because I think much of what he describes aligns with my own life. For example, leaving home for college was my first attempt at developing an identity separate from my parents. When I left Houston to attend the University of Texas at Austin (UT), I missed home. I was overwhelmed by the number of students at UT, I was out of my comfort zone, and I wasn’t sure what to do with my newfound freedoms. Growing up, my mom described college as the four best years of her life, and I felt the opposite: I was bewildered. I realized I was sleeping more than usual and wasn’t hungry, signs I recognized as symptoms of depression. I started seeing a counselor and was able to transition from home to college successfully. 

Vaillant’s second task, the development of intimacy through reciprocal relationships also proved difficult for me. In my UT experience, the boys I met were in school for a four-year, all-expenses-paid party. Weekly my mom asked who my date was for the party that weekend, and I 3 

never had an answer. Girls went to parties in groups. Dates were a thing of the past, an important skill women in my generation missed the opportunity to experience. I did form meaningful reciprocal friendships with girlfriends, but I see my college experience as hindering future romantic relationships. I never understood how to date or how a date should treat me. When I turned 27, right on time according to Barbara Reinke, I found myself single and childless when most of my friends were married and mothers. I latched onto the first man who came into my life and pushed him to marry me. Eight years and two kids later, I am saddened by my lack of self-esteem and the way I pursued my husband. Not shockingly, we have a problematic marriage marred by disagreements and frustration, but I am stuck. We saw a counselor when we lived in Midland whose advice was, “Never, never, never give up on your marriage.” So, I try to put one foot in front of the other and pray our union will improve. 

Spirituality has been a thread throughout my life. Although not important to my dad, a Christian upbringing was essential to my mom. On Sundays my dad stayed home, and my mom got my two younger brothers and me dressed and off to Sunday school. We cried, complained, and dreaded Sundays, but that ritual gave me my foundation in Christ. When I was homesick in college, in addition to the therapist, I also found a bible study and spent mornings drinking coffee and reading Scripture. And when I moved to Midland before I got engaged, I dug into my Bible and Bible study. Now, bone-tired after nearly eight years of working on myself and my marriage, I still seek God for discernment. I can see how easily addictions start. During my low points, I could have turned to drugs, alcohol, or other harmful outlets, but I have always turned to God. My life isn’t problem-free, but I am standing on a rock, not sand, which has made all the difference. 4 

At thirty-eight, I am progressing through Vaillant’s third stage, career consolidation. I wanted to be a psychology major in college, but I was worried I might bring the client’s problems home with me, so I switched my major to journalism, then Spanish. I graduated with a Spanish major and a business minor and moved to Washington, DC, to intern for President George W. Bush’s second campaign. Jenna Bush was a sorority sister at UT, and several friends went to DC to work for her dad. Those were fun years, and I felt like part of living history in Washington, but I realized I did not want to be a career politician, so I moved to Dallas to pursue an interior design degree. I worked in design in Dallas, Houston, and Midland. When my husband and I moved back to Houston in August 2019, I hit pause. Interior design felt hollow for me. To be well known, designers need an Instagram account portraying perfection, which I couldn’t maintain. I decided I needed a career focused on helping others, so I began the master’s degree in counseling at HGST. 

Vaillant’s fourth task, generativity, or the ability to give unselfishly, is difficult because I don’t have an abundance in terms of finances or time, but it is a goal. His fifth task, being the keeper of meaning, became evident when I had my son and daughter. The fact I get to pass traditions on to the next generation is exciting. I look forward to sharing my spiritual practices, holiday traditions, and moral attitudes. 

Learning developmental theories has equipped me to be a better counselor because each model provides a lens through which I can examine future clients. Instead of feeling lost when a client comes in, I can connect what the client is saying to one or more theories. I will have a greater understanding of the client when I can link their story to Vaillant, Kohlberg, Erikson, Reinke, Levinson, Bowlby, and so on. These theories will serve as a road map I can follow to provide direction and ensure I am effective with my clients. 5 

References 

Capuzzi, D., & Stauffer, M. D. (Eds.). (2016). Human growth and development across the lifespan: Applications for counselors. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.